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Roller Coaster Ride

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It’s been a roller coaster ride the last 6 months during my blogging sabbatical. Continued growth, awareness, & forgiveness; betrayal; and a surprise!

My decision to back away from blogging and other optional activities was born of necessity. Some important relationships were requiring intensive attention, and I needed to focus on figuring out what my role was in each relationship. It’s never pretty looking in the mirror, but always worth it in the end.

It’s easy to think relationships are strong when times are good.

But when things go awry, you find out what the relationship is really made of.

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The Difference Between Feeling Better and Getting Better

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Feeling better seems to be a universal goal of humankind.

When we’re experiencing physical, emotional, or spiritual pain, the instinct to feel better can take on a life of its own.  Most of us don’t even realize our subconscious is in overdrive doing whatever it takes to avoid bad feelings.

The problem is this:  what makes us feel better usually isn’t what makes us get better.

Feeling Better More

How To Forgive The Unforgivable

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…and How Forgiving Brings Freedom…

The decision to forgive my dad was borne of a long labor.

Although I’d always felt and said I wanted to forgive him, I couldn’t seem to actually do it.  Maybe my mind hadn’t transferred the abuse from something to survive into something to forgive yet.

spirituallythinking.blogspot.com

spirituallythinking.blogspot.com

I’d hidden the abuse for so long, it became acceptable in its own sick way.  I compartmentalized the abuse and split my dad into two people.  There was the dad who abused me; but then there was the dad who played cards with me, taught me to fly his plane, and took me fishing.  As children, we are dependent and vulnerable; we have no choice but to find a way to accept the abuse in order to survive.

All I ever wanted was to have a happy, loving dad/daughter relationship. It took me years before I admitted to myself just how wrong and destructive his abuse was.    I wanted to forgive him, but for a long time I thought I could only forgive if I had his apology first.

Through a long, difficult journey of self-discovery and spiritual maturing, I began to realize forgiving him didn’t even involve him. More

NaNo Excerpt #3 “Letters of a Lifetime”

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It’s been a few months since I shared the last excerpt of my NaNoWriMo novel “Letters of a Lifetime.”  I recently reengaged in the editing process and am excited to continue working on my novel.  Click here to read Part 1, and here to read Part 2. 
 
We pick up where Anne just finished reading a shocking letter indicating her recently deceased mother was an unwed mother in the 1940’s. 
 

Anne shook her head in disbelief.  Who was Jack, and what became of his parents? Did they know about the baby? Did Ruth give the baby up for adoption, or did she keep it? Anne’s hunger for answers and truth intensified as she reread the letter.

She sank a little further into the couch, letting her mind wander a bit before diving into the next letter.

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The Baby Went Out With The Bath Water

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Over the last few days I’ve realized – nearly simultaneously – I threw the baby out with the bath water and there was probably no other way I could have healed this fully.

I had dinner a couple of weeks ago with someone I haven’t seen for several years.  The estrangement from my family has affected this relationship, too.  I’d missed SB very much, but it was far too complicated to continue our relationship while I was recovering from my childhood abuse.  She reached out to me recently after hearing of my reconciliation with my mom.  I am so grateful for her compassion and grace. More

Q&A with Linda J. Reed

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Today I’m very pleased to introduce you to someone I admire very much. 

Linda and I have known each other for several years, and I’ve always respected her strength, character, and perseverence.  She took personal growth and recovery to the ultimate level and went on to become a licensed therapist and life coach.  

Please give Linda a warm welcome as you enjoy some ‘nuggets’ of wisdom she has to share.

Linda J. Reed

Linda J. Reed

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NaNo Excerpt #2 “Letters of a Lifetime”

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Anne has been a bit nervous to share what’s happening next in her journey through our NaNoWriMo novel draft “Letters of a Lifetime”.  She’s felt very vulnerable and has resisted me posting it.  However, after careful consideration, she’s decided to be brave and take the plunge.  We hope you enjoy it.

If you’d like to know what happened with Anne in Excerpt #1, please click here.

The three-hour drive home from Ruth’s house in Lexington was uneventful, so Anne’s mind had time to drift.  She absent-mindedly admired the heavily blossomed apple and cherry trees, and they reminded her of the cycle of life.  It was odd knowing someone somewhere was rejoicing at new life with the birth of a baby, while she was grieving loss at the death of her mother. 

Her weary mind eventually wandered to the peculiar phone conversation she’d had with Ruth’s favorite hospice nurse earlier.  June had called and said “I have something for you.  It’s a note; something your mom asked me to write down for you.  She wanted you to read it yourself, and I promised her I wouldn’t just tell you.”  June had taken down Anne’s address and promised to drop it in the mail promptly.

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