The Old Violin


While joyful and exciting, the holidays can also be a difficult time of year.

There were many Christmases I bounced between having fun and enjoying the season with my husband and kids while struggling with deep-seated depression.

My lack of family-of-origin connection during the holidays magnified feelings of rejection and worthlessness; especially related to my dad.  A sweet and tender story about an old violin touched me many years ago during an especially difficult time of depression.  Though not a cure, it was balm to the soul.

If feelings of loneliness, worthlessness or rejection plague you during the holidays I offer you this story.  I hope it reminds you that you are indeed worthy and loved.

The Old Violin

~Myra Brooks Welch

‘Twas battered and scarred, And the auctioneer thought it hardly worth his while to waste his time on the old violin, but he held it up with a smile. More

Grateful, Even in the Waiting


Thanksgiving Day has arrived here in the States. 

A sense of gratitude arrived with it early this morning.  It blanketed me ever so softly with comfort and peace even as I sit with uncertainty.  Calm such as this truly is a gift from God.

I had my mammogram recently; a few months overdue.  I know… I know it’s important.  But it hurts.  I don’t care how many people say it doesn’t, it does.   

The same tech who’s done my mammograms for over 15 years flattened my breasts into pancakes once again.  Each smashing was accompanied with apologies and assurances it would be over soon.  “Be still and hold your breath, hon.”   We did this several times and I waited for the okay to get my shirt back on.  She scrutinized the screen with a practiced eye, then dismissed me to the dressing room.  When I pulled the curtain back, she said “You’ll get a call in a few days saying everything is fine, or you need to come back.  But you’ll get a call either way.”  I guess this is to lessen the anxiety about seeing your doctor’s number on the incoming caller ID.

Sure enough, I got a call last week saying they’d seen something ‘suspicious’ and wanted me to come back for a re-check.   More

Trying Something New


As my family will attest, I sometimes balk at trying new things.

I tend to order the same food at restaurants, buy the same style of clothes, listen to the same music…well you get the idea.  If it isn’t broken, why fix it -right?

I’m learning that for me, it’s actually the opposite.  Something is broken, and I do need to fix it.  Not wanting to leave the confines of my ‘comfort zone’ is a sign of being an emotional hostage to my fears.



But, it’s something I’ve been actively working on -trying something new.  As luck would have it, I’ve had two opportunities to practice recently. More

Reflections on the Road


Our recent motorcycle trip refreshed and energized me. 

Yet, it also left me longing for more.  3000 miles and I wasn’t ready for it to be over.  I’ve had a hard time re-adjusting to the chaos of life and miss the freedom of the road.

The ride allowed my mind to settle long enough to reflect on several issues I’ve been wrestling with.  It also brought me the gift of self-awareness in a couple of unexpected areas. More

7-State Road Trip


Many thanks to my guest bloggers who kept things running while my husband and I were enjoying an incredible road trip on the motorcycles.I’ve missed the blogging world, and am looking forward to catching up with everyone soon.

There’s so much to say about our trip, but I’ll do that later.  Today I just wanted to share some photos -what a beautiful country I live in! More

The Mom Factor


It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since my mom and I reconciled after a 12-year estrangement. It’s been quite an adjustment having a renewed relationship with the truth about my dad as the foundation. Though it’s not perfect, I’m very grateful for the opportunity to reconnect with her. It has been an incredible time of healing for us both, I think.

Depression and PTSD rendered so many dreams and goals in my life impossible and I had given up on most of them.  The long-term effects of Mom not protecting or believing me have been devastating. The good news is I’m seeing (and feeling) the boost from just knowing she believes me now. It amazes me that no matter how old we are, a mom can make such a difference.  There are some very deep emotional holes being healed as we nurture the relationship.  I believe there will always be scars, but the open wounds are closing.

Another gift our relationship has given me is More

The Unexpected Visitor


While on a family vacation in Hawaii three years ago, a surprising event reminded me God never takes vacations.

My husband and I had rented a car for the day and driven around the Big Island with our two grown kids.  We’d been exploring the island all day and were ready to just relax on the beach and enjoy the sunset. 

We found a nice little spot north of Pearl Harbor along Highway 93 called Maili.  There wasn’t anyone else nearby on the beach, although some divers were fishing not too far away.  We put out our umbrella and bright beach towels, definitely looking touristy. The picnic basket held snacks and some forbidden beer and wine.  Like rebellious teenagers, More

First Big Ride of the Season!


Whoop Whoop!!

We are having a spectacular summer here in the Pacific Northwest!  My doctor gave me clearance recently to ride my motorcycle after the long healing process for the herniated disk in my neck.   So, Doug and I took a day trip around Bainbridge Island last weekend.

We combined riding with 2 ferry rides for a gorgeous experience; it was only 125 actual riding miles on the bikes, but we’re off to a great season!  No chance to take pictures while riding, (I’m not that adventurous!) so I don’t have any of the beautiful scenery we saw along the way, but here’s a glimpse of what we did… I hope you enjoy the pictures!

Profession photo showing Space Needle & Ferry  www.wdot.com

Professional photo showing Space Needle & Ferry

Leaving Seattle for Bainbridge Island.  Notice the Space Needle to the right.

Leaving Seattle for Bainbridge Island. Notice the Space Needle to the right.


How to Overcome Shame


Have you ever felt worthless, damaged, or unacceptable?  If so, you may be struggling with shame.

There are two types of shame;

Guilt and Embarrasment.

They both have their place in society and relationships, but when they are out of balance or undeserved, either can be destructive.

A healthy example of Guilt is More

Bucket List Update -One Down


Something I listed on my Bucket List in January was to “go on a vacation or camping with all our kids.”  Well, just a few short weeks later, they told us they were planning a surprise 3-day getaway for hubby and I with them.  They let us pick a weekend and that’s as much as we were allowed to know.  I love surprises!!!  There’s been so much anticipation the last five months, but finally the big day arrived! More

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