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Birthdays of My Dad and My Father

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Dad’s birthday is today; gone now nearly 5 years, he would be turning 92.

He hated Christmas.  Apparently his birthday was forgotten every year in the midst of Christmas preparations when he was growing up.  The pain of being forgotten never seemed to leave him.  He would not allow us to put up a tree until his birthday had passed, and even then did so grudgingly.

I know now Dad’s Christmas experience is only a tiny window into his life story. More

How To Forgive The Unforgivable

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…and How Forgiving Brings Freedom…

The decision to forgive my dad was borne of a long labor.

Although I’d always felt and said I wanted to forgive him, I couldn’t seem to actually do it.  Maybe my mind hadn’t transferred the abuse from something to survive into something to forgive yet.

spirituallythinking.blogspot.com

spirituallythinking.blogspot.com

I’d hidden the abuse for so long, it became acceptable in its own sick way.  I compartmentalized the abuse and split my dad into two people.  There was the dad who abused me; but then there was the dad who played cards with me, taught me to fly his plane, and took me fishing.  As children, we are dependent and vulnerable; we have no choice but to find a way to accept the abuse in order to survive.

All I ever wanted was to have a happy, loving dad/daughter relationship. It took me years before I admitted to myself just how wrong and destructive his abuse was.    I wanted to forgive him, but for a long time I thought I could only forgive if I had his apology first.

Through a long, difficult journey of self-discovery and spiritual maturing, I began to realize forgiving him didn’t even involve him. More

Forget Resolutions! I Have a Bucket List!

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Happy New Year, Everyone!!!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

The New Year is here, fireworks have faded, and partygoers have headed home.  The next common tradition is to write out those resolutions intended to improve our lives in the coming year.  

Well, New Year’s Resolutions always left me feeling like a failure; the emotion amplified as year-end approached and my resolutions remained just words on a paper.  The flab stayed (or grew), the exercise routine never started, the clothes in my closet didn’t get replaced…you get the idea.  So, I stopped making resolutions years ago without any regrets!

Instead, I developed a list in my head of Things To Do in my lifetime.  It wasn’t until I watched “The Bucket List”,

Bucket List -The Movie

Bucket List -The Movie

I realized that was exactly what I had.  A Bucket List!  I just never had a fancy name for my ‘wish list’.  In lieu of a New Year’s resolution blog, I thought I’d share my evolving Bucket List with you in the hopes you’ll share yours, too.

A few things I’ve already crossed off my list: More

NaNo 2012 Excerpt #1

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Those of you who have been supporting and encouraging me know that I’ve been on a NaNoWriMo detour the last several weeks. I crossed the finish line with an official word count of 50,049 words, and it’s taken me this long to come up for air! Thanks to everyone who supported me through emails, blog comments, etc.! You are all wonderful! I even had two people tell about their own “letter stories” in their comments.

Several people have mentioned wanting to read about Anne’s adventures from this year’s novel, so I am sharing an excerpt below. It is longer than my typical posts; I hope you don’t mind. Your comments and feedback are always appreciated!

One last thing…I was advised to mention a reminder this text is subject to my copyright (see notice on home page.) Thank you!

Letters of a Lifetime”-A Raw & Rough Excerpt

Anne sighed deeply after the last person left the house.  Friends, family, and neighbors had gone out of their way to stop by after the funeral.  It had been an amazing show of love for her mom, and she appreciated it.  Still, it was mentally draining to cope with everyone’s sorrow and awkward comments while deep in grief herself. More

Journey of Forgiving My Father

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Long after I estranged myself from my parents, I heard through the grapevine dad was moving to an assisted living facility.  His mortality hit me like a brick and The Journey Continues Here

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