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Changing the Dial

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Doubt and the tenderness of vulnerability have plagued me for weeks while working hard for a goal I’ve dreamed of for decades.  I rationalized for years why I couldn’t do this. And once I started the process, I’ve thought about throwing in the towel multiple times.  I just didn’t realize until this week the real reason I wanted to quit was to avoid my feelings. Avoidance is sneaky.  It would be so easy, and I can find plenty of justifiable excuses.  In fact, not many would question my decision to give up.

But I’ve discovered I’m willing to fight through these feelings because I have my own voice now. I want to feed my soul and be who I am called to be.

Image result for george eliot quote it's never too late

**Photo credit http://www.saryan.info**

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Taking the Plunge

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Hello 2019!!

Polar Bear Plunge at 35 degrees!!

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Theory Brought to Life

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I’m in awe of a recent experience that brought my classwork alive.

The week before Thanksgiving, a speaker in my class was discussing how children deal with trauma.  She was explaining how the brain works and what needs to happen for them to process trauma.  It was a lot of interesting theory.  Until she said something that really hit home.

“Children need to tell the trauma story over and over and over.  This is how they metabolize, process, and heal from it.” 

One of my most traumatic stories is one that still has an emotional life of its own.  Every time I think about, talk about, or write about this event, the feelings are still incredibly raw.  I thought about how I was never allowed to tell my stories, let alone repeatedly.  In fact, this story remains mostly untold. More

New Chapter

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After a much longer hiatus than planned, I’ve made a commitment to resume blogging.  You have all been so vital to my healing and continued work.  I’ve missed you!  I hope I can give back a fraction of what you give to me.

Last summer I made another commitment that is dramatically changing me. More

Charlie Rose and my Dad

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Thanks to Gayle King, I’m in tears this morning…fresh tears remembering how hard it was to tell someone what Dad had done to me for so many years.  And how similar Charlie Rose is to my Dad.  The power. Oh. My. God. The. Power.  More

It’s going to be beautiful

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Last month I went on a 2500 mile solo camping trip on my motorcycle. I went through 7 states in 6 days.

I was both excited and nervous to go solo, but also determined to face my fears.

It was time for some growth. 

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Turns out I had so much fun, my fears were forgotten, and definitely for naught.  The trip was a confidence booster, and equally important, gave me much needed time for reflection. More

Roller Coaster Ride

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It’s been a roller coaster ride the last 6 months during my blogging sabbatical. Continued growth, awareness, & forgiveness; betrayal; and a surprise!

My decision to back away from blogging and other optional activities was born of necessity. Some important relationships were requiring intensive attention, and I needed to focus on figuring out what my role was in each relationship. It’s never pretty looking in the mirror, but always worth it in the end.

It’s easy to think relationships are strong when times are good.

But when things go awry, you find out what the relationship is really made of.

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