As my family will attest, I sometimes balk at trying new things.
I tend to order the same food at restaurants, buy the same style of clothes, listen to the same music…well you get the idea. If it isn’t broken, why fix it -right?
I’m learning that for me, it’s actually the opposite. Something is broken, and I do need to fix it. Not wanting to leave the confines of my ‘comfort zone’ is a sign of being an emotional hostage to my fears.
But, it’s something I’ve been actively working on -trying something new. As luck would have it, I’ve had two opportunities to practice recently.
My daughter offered to take me clothes shopping last weekend. Shopping and toilet scrubbing rate about the same for me. Thus, my wardrobe tends to, shall we say ‘lean on the dated side of fashion’. I have been in need of an update for quite a while, but it hasn’t been a priority. Translation: my fears have been winning. I fear feeling selfish or conspicuous in new clothes. That might lead to ridicule or rejection. And, it certainly doesn’t help that I most definitely do not like the dressing room mirror.
Luckily, my daughter has good taste and is patiently persistent. She was encouraging, yet firm, in nudging me out of my box. It was just what I needed. I repeatedly tried something new that day. Some things were immediate rejects, but to my surprise, we found several ‘keepers,’ too. I’m happy to report I’ve been enjoying the fruits of our labor.
For the last three years, I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo. It’s a writing marathon where you write a novel of 50,000 words the 30 days of November. I’ve written three books, though they all sit awaiting my editing. (That’s the boring part.) As November approached this year, I couldn’t decide what to do. Part of me wanted to continue the tradition, but I felt weary and lacked any ideas. The same old thing didn’t appeal to me, and I felt stuck.
Then it occurred to me – I can try something new! I decided to write a collection of short stories. By writing up an outline of ideas ahead of time, it ignited my writing enthusiasm again, too! So I’m off and running with my non-fiction short stories. I’m feeling like a bit of a NaNo rebel; and that puts some pep in my step, too!
How about you? What new things are you trying? What do you think of your comfort zone?
Dec 01, 2013 @ 09:27:38
Denise – I can so-o-o-o relate to your thoughts in this marvelous post. It especially applies to my situation in having multiple roles as my husband’s wife, lover, friend, confident, and caregiver over the past many years. Often the lines become mixed and it’s difficult for me to try something new. It’s especially difficult when things are going well and I don’t want to cause an up-set. However, living as normal a life as possible for the two of us is my number 1 goal. Terrific post. Thank you.
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Dec 01, 2013 @ 10:42:19
Wearing so many hats, it’s no wonder adding something new is a challenge! Thanks Sheri 😉
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Nov 12, 2013 @ 13:42:14
I love reading about your personal stretch. You inspire.
Out of the comfort zone is a little wild sometimes…… I love that you are brave enough to jump.
You lifted my spirits today. Thank you so much.
Here’s to you & your spirit!
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Nov 12, 2013 @ 19:02:36
Thanks, Daleen! Your comments really made my day! Truly.
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Nov 09, 2013 @ 23:24:25
My gosh, Denise, this is SO relevant to me right now. Literally this afternoon when I was on my bed alone, patting my cat, I thought, “What can I do, what can I do to change this?”
I used to “just live” and “just do things that interested me” but I’m finding it difficult to identify any love pastime (but I do do yoga, and it’s a Godsend to me – started last December). I am cloistered, & yes, a hostage to my emotional fears.
GREAT post.
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Nov 10, 2013 @ 07:33:10
Thanks, Noeleen. It’s a great feeling to know my words have ‘clicked’ with someone else, too. Sounds like your soul is getting restless for something more. Your growth is catching up to you. 😉
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Nov 06, 2013 @ 17:24:03
It took forever, but about three years ago, I started to force myself out of my clothing comfort zone. And last year it meant buying a pair of bright red skinny pants. To my absolute surprise, I received tons of compliments on how I looked in them. So now every year, I try to find something “current” to wear.
As you know, I’m rebuilding one of my existing WIPs this month, but I’m here to cheer you on for your short stories!
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Nov 06, 2013 @ 17:45:10
Good for you! Red skinny pants!! Now that’s a real statement -I love that you did it! And what a bonus to get all those compliments 😉
Writers unite…here we go…
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Nov 06, 2013 @ 11:45:47
Great post, Denise!
My daughters take my wife out clothes shopping too. She tries her new outfits on for me and instead of asking “does this make my butt look big?” she asks, “does this make me look like I’m trying to dress too young?”
She has a hard time escaping her comfort zone too!
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Nov 06, 2013 @ 17:42:34
Haha!! That’s awesome, Bill! Daughters are good for pushing our limits 😉
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Nov 05, 2013 @ 07:08:04
I am the same as you when it comes to clothes shopping. Working from home, I don’t need to dress up. For the first time, I am trying NaNoWriMo. I am thinking of combining a bunch of ideas into one book. It could work. Fingers crossed and best of luck with your short stories.
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Nov 05, 2013 @ 07:42:33
Awesome, Kathy! That’s so great you are trying NaNo-I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! Best wishes to you and your story, too!
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 19:49:04
Poetry puts me out of my comfort zone, and in a good way!
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Nov 05, 2013 @ 07:41:42
And here I thought you were so comfortable writing poetry, Allen. It seems to just flow so easily.
Well, you had me fooled! 😉
Thanks for sharing!
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 13:12:48
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only anti-shopper! I started a new office job recently and needed to trade in the fannel shirt look so went clothes shopping and bought serveral new shirts in one trip to the store…I have never done that before. I admit it was actually kind of fun…once…except for the get the bill in the mail part. I am not worried about becoming an addict.
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 14:02:49
🙂 ha!! yeah, me either, Vicki!
We’d rather be out in the snow or playing with the dogs, right?
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 09:20:13
Awesome post, Denise. I worked for many years to learn to step up and try it. I had a huge fear of ridicule or failure. At some point I pasted a big ‘So What!’ on that worry and tried more and more things that I always wished I could do. The remarkable thing is that, yes, I can do them! And my life and circle of community is so much larger because of reaching out and giving things a shot. I have seen this happening for you, and I’m excited to see your joy growing along with your new passions!
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 14:01:07
You inspire, me, Sheri! 😉
Thanks for the continued encouragement; I’m looking forward to NaNo-ing together again!!
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Nov 06, 2013 @ 10:50:31
🙂
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 07:58:39
Great post and timely…ok, here it goes, I signed up for NaNoWriMo – there I said it!!! :O I like the quote when you want something you never had you have to do something you have never done…ok here goes, both of us stepping out of our comfort zone….
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 14:00:07
WOOO HOOO Patty!!!
Write on, girlfriend! Write on!
I’m excited for you ‘-)
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Nov 06, 2013 @ 18:05:56
thanks – I did a bit of research tonight so will get back to my writing tomorrow….I think I am a researcher at heart. 🙂
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 05:49:59
I so identify with how you feel about shopping for clothes. In my youth I was really into fashion, and I still find it appealing…on other people! I like my worn but comfortable standbys, and have a hard time parting with anything I like to wear, even when it’s old and faded.
As for NaNoWriMo, I’ve considered doing that for years, and hope one day to make the time for it. The one novel I’ve ever written completely I actually did in about a month (most of it anyway) but it was just incidental, because Matt was away at camp for that long, the most time I’ve had before or since. I think short stories are a great idea! They say (and I believe) that it’s more difficult to really master this form than a novel. Certainly I think it may be more fitted to our current culture where people seem to have less time to read than before. Good luck!
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 13:58:57
Hi Julia!
Oh yes! Throwing out old clothes is very challenging for me, too! I have some things from when my daughter was in high school -and she will have her 10 year reunion soon! Yikes!
That’s awesome you wrote a novel already. I hope you sign up for NaNo sometime…just cuz!
Thanks for stopping by and chatting 😉
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 22:54:34
Hi Denise, When I decided to quit waiting tables …which was HUGE and different for me…My world is opening up and my practice is expanding rapidly – (thank you God!) – nice post and good luck on your writing this month!
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 05:19:22
That is such great news, Linda!!!! Good for you, and congrats on the expansion! I’m so happy for you 😉
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 22:19:25
LOL! Anytime you need a personal shopper, just let me know! 🙂
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 05:18:30
Hahaha!! Yes, now that would be right up your alley!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 20:14:37
Great post,Denise. You crack me up about the toilet/shopping association. I relate completely.
Good for you for branching out. Can’t wait to read your new stories. Pics of your new dibs, please!
I definitely feel like God is pulling me out of my me, me, me comfort zone, and He’s calling me to a deeper prayer life. I realize that might sound super “spiritual” of me, but I assure you it’s all God doing the work, not me. Until a few weeks ago, I was very happy in the me, me, me world. I hadn’t been aware of how off track my life had become until our pastor spoke about idols. Idols? Me? Nah! I was sure it was going to be a tune-out message where I could work on my grocery list. (Thank God for His patience with me.) But then the pastor asked how much we were hungering for the things in our lives versus hungering for God. Hungering for God? Gulp. It hit me pretty hard, and I asked God to give me a desire for Him.
That message spurred a tremendous stirring in me and some of my friends, and we started to learn more about the power of prayer. Just as God would have it, one of our dear friends suddenly ended up in a life threatening situation in the hospital last week (the one I told you about). She was fighting for her life with massive infection due to complications from surgery, and so my friends and I went to the hospital and prayed over her for a miracle. I was so far out of my comfort zone, but The Lord answered us, and He healed her. In 24 hours, she went from critical condition to leaving the hospital. Docs are shocked and have no explanation. We do. God did a miracle.
Thank God for taking me out of my comfort zone. He knows I wouldn’t normally leave on my own.
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 05:18:09
Lori, your prayer journey sounds enviable. All your work has prepared you to be in this place. I feel a similar tugging to deepen my prayer life, too. You’ve given me much to think about, and I thank you for that.
Your friend’s recovery is miraculous! What an amazing testimony that provides to all of you.
Thank you for sharing how you went out of your comfort zone recently.
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 14:21:50
“New” or “different” is scary. Breaking out of the comfort zone is scary, but can offer new opportunities and friendships and enlightenment. Esther – I detest shopping – if I could afford one, I’d have a personal shopper! For years, I just wrote for myself – now that I’m blogging and sharing my personal stories and fiction (and it’s been welcomed), I don’t feel so oogy about it.
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 14:44:20
A personal shopper would be a fantastic luxury!
It’s funny we all have the same fear of sharing our writing with others, but then we all enjoy each other’s and it turns out we don’t get rejected after all. What a wonder this blogging community is!!!
Thanks, Karen!!! No more oogy!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 13:01:28
Well done on finding the courage to try new things. I’m so glad they’ve brought joy. I feel inspired now too!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 14:41:05
Thanks, Ali! It’s great to encourage each other 😉
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 09:47:26
Exactly what I needed to read. Now, to do. Thanks. 🙂
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 12:25:04
Writing your book and all that came with it surely must have catapulted you straight out of your box, Paulette!! 😉
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 09:52:01
It did for sure. Faced a lot of discomfort but the joy of writing pushed me on. The things this post brought to mind are the things I’m not doing, out of fear/lack of courage. Some things I don’t want to put off that I need to do. I know it’ll help me feel better about myself.
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Nov 04, 2013 @ 14:01:52
There’s always something to work on, isn’t there Paulette?
I’m rooting for you, friend!!!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 09:10:56
I’m glad you’re enjoying things! Shopping is therapy, right?
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 12:24:27
😉 Ha ha I know how much you enjoy shopping, so my aversion must seem very strange to you! We all have our quirks; thankfully we’re not all the same!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 08:38:12
Congrats Denise, Breaking out of our patterns can be so hard until we do it, then it feels great! Have fun with new with the short stories, Poems have been the new edge for me this year in my writing. Maybe I’ll be a rebel too!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 12:23:23
Thanks, Brad! Hey, NaNo has something just for poets -NaPoWriMo. I’m not sure when it is, but you could just be a rebel in November! heh heh 😉
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 07:42:30
I signed up as well and it is way out of my own comfort zone so I’m with you! Cheers to reviving our Inner Hotshots! xoxo
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 08:24:16
Woo Hoo!!!
😉
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 06:17:29
That’s great, Denise; way to step out of your comfort zone!!! I think you and I could compliment each other; I LOVE shopping, and probably need to do less of it, LOL. I also admire your commitment to NaNoWriMo, I think that’s pretty awesome. Great post!!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 06:43:53
Ha ha! Yes, maybe we would even each other out! Thanks for stopping by!!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 04:21:07
Good for you Denise for pushing your boundaries! I like to try “new” things … but … within reason. Ha ha that doesn’t sound very adventurous. I guess I think as I get older I’m willing to try something new as long as it’s not TOO far out of my comfort zone. Still, as long as we recognize and give ourselves a little push every now and then that’s a good thing!
I have never done NaNo so I’m impressed you’ve done 3 and even more impressed that you are coming up with a new way of harnessing that writing energy. Good luck with the short stories! Sounds fun 🙂
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 04:34:04
Hi Arlene,
Yes, a little push now and again can be all the adventure we need! 🙂
NaNo is awesome! I am so grateful I discovered it in 2010. Now that was a serious shove out of my comfort zone!
Thanks for coming by and sharing your thoughts. And, as always, your encouragement!
PS: congrats on your 1 year blogiversary!!!!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 03:36:47
I’m rebelling for NaNo, too. Instead of writing a new 50,000-word story, I am going to write the third draft to a WIP. I will feed off of the energy and enthusiasm of NaNo, although I won’t be an official participant.
I think your idea to write short stories is great. I will be rooting you on!
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 04:29:13
I’ll be rooting fou, too, Kate! Fellow rebels unite!
There were 2 people at our local NaNo kick off party Friday night who said they are doing re-writes as well. I may have to do that myself at some point just to get my editing done. Best intentions haven’t done the trick! 🙂
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 02:18:55
I tend to like shopping TOO much sometimes. But I have embraced thrift stores lately and they scratch my retail therapy itch.
I admire your NaNoWriMo discipline. I think the short stories idea is a great one. Best of luck!
Joanne
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 04:26:48
Hi Joanne! I was waiting to hear from someone who enjoys retail therapy! Isn’t it funny how we all have our thing we like? Thanks for the encouragement on NaNo!
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Nov 02, 2013 @ 23:13:55
The day one pushes a personal boundary is a good day. Well done, you. I love the thought of being a Na No rebel. The key though is that you’re writing in November.
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 04:24:40
Yes! That’s it exactly -pushing a personal boundary. Well said! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
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Nov 02, 2013 @ 22:36:00
so true! love your posts~
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 04:22:11
Thanks, Cindy!
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Nov 02, 2013 @ 22:20:14
Nothing new for rme. I do not like change but I think that I am okay the way that I am. I don’t worry about change for I don’t feel there is anything missing in my life other than better camera equipment which I can not afford at this time.
Nice post here, Denise. Oh and I hate to shop for clothes as well. 🙂
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 04:21:49
Hey there! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! I hope you get the camera equipment one day soon 🙂
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Nov 02, 2013 @ 21:58:57
Ah…someone who abhors shopping as much as I do. But I’m doing something about that…ultimately. Even worse than shopping has been my aversion to anything resembling EXERCISE! But knee surgery and muscle weakness that could no longer be ignored forced me into the gym for physical therapy and now I’m in a fitness program. AND I LIKE IT!! I can see results after just a couple of weeks! Who knew??? Lots of people, I know. People I ignored. People I didn’t want to believe. And now I’m one of them! My, my.
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Nov 03, 2013 @ 04:19:48
That’s wonderful, Esther! Exercise is another area I need to work on as well. Thank you for the story, and congrats on your progress! I am impressed!
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