It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since my mom and I reconciled after a 12-year estrangement. It’s been quite an adjustment having a renewed relationship with the truth about my dad as the foundation. Though it’s not perfect, I’m very grateful for the opportunity to reconnect with her. It has been an incredible time of healing for us both, I think.

Depression and PTSD rendered so many dreams and goals in my life impossible and I had given up on most of them.  The long-term effects of Mom not protecting or believing me have been devastating. The good news is I’m seeing (and feeling) the boost from just knowing she believes me now. It amazes me that no matter how old we are, a mom can make such a difference.  There are some very deep emotional holes being healed as we nurture the relationship.  I believe there will always be scars, but the open wounds are closing.

Another gift our relationship has given me is the opportunity to consider being forgiven.  By forgiving my mom, I am becoming aware I am forgivable, too.  I hurt many people through my anger, including my husband and kids.  Sometimes the pain of thinking about it prevents me from seeing the possibility of forgiveness.

Expecting rejection can be easier to anticipate than forgiveness.  Perhaps this is why we distance ourselves from ones we’ve hurt.  We think we will never be forgiven.  I have a renewed determination to continue making amends.  Some will choose to forgive me, and some will not.  I can only do my part, and that itself sounds freeing.

I will be taking a break from all this hard work soon while my husband and I take a vacation.  There’s a treat in store for you in the next couple of weeks while I’m focused on my trip. Four writers have agreed to share some inspiring stories with you while I’m gone. I hope you’ll give them a warm welcome and share your comments and insights with them.  I’ll look forward to catching up with you all when I’m back.

How about you?  What does your healing journey look like?

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