While many Kurt Cobain fans are marking the 19th anniversary of his death this week, I am reminded of what a haunted and painful life he led. I’ll admit it, my fascination lies there; not in his music per se, but in his pain. He found an extraordinary way of expressing, even purging, deep emotions through music and seemingly outlandish assertions.
Pardon the language, but some of my favorite quotes are:
“No one dies a virgin, life fucks us all.”
“They laugh at me because I’m different; I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
“The worst crime is faking it.”
And my very favorite:
“I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.”
He fought many of his demons publicly, at times not seeming to care what people thought of his often bizarre behavior and rants. I’ve envied his ability to just ‘say it like it is’, and still be accepted –and acceptable. Isn’t that what we’d all like, ultimately? To be accepted just as we are?
Pain seemed to drive Cobain and his musical genius. I’m not a grunge fan, but neither am I so naïve to miss the point that his pain, and the nearly fanatical willingness to express it, resonated with so many. What is it, I wonder, that makes pain connect us so strongly?
Despite his fame, wealth, and perceived success, Kurt Cobain lived and died in physical and emotional pain. It is a morbid fascination, I suppose, but I wonder how it could have been different? Would he have wanted it to be different? Could someone have helped him? Or, did his life and music actually help countless people in ways we’ll never know?
Cobain was apparently admired by those close to him as being very intelligent. It is no secret that he was also very angry and depressed. His inner turmoil really jumps out at me when contrasting these two quotes:
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
If you die, you’re completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I’m not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I’ve got.”
Did he feel defeated, like he wasted who he was? Why the discrepancy between these two quotes?
Many may idolize Kurt Cobain, and many may have dismissed him as yet another druggie rock-star. I fall in neither category, but instead admire his chutzpah – and his willingness to be real.
How about you? What are your thoughts about being real?
Apr 10, 2013 @ 05:17:04
I don’t know too much about him, but if he was intelligent, he realized that addiction was killing a big part of him and that is probably what he wanted to change.
Great piece!
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Apr 10, 2013 @ 08:27:44
That’s very likely, Susie. Thanks for stopping by!
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Apr 09, 2013 @ 06:09:23
I was never a Cobain fan, but learned more about him when my beautiful blonde-haired daughter chose to go as him to a Halloween party a few years ago. Yikes – that was a disturbing likeness.
His was a truly tragic life in so many ways, but as you point out, he may have reached more people than we know and helped them in some way. There are no throw-away people (as I recently blogged!)
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Apr 09, 2013 @ 09:23:19
Your post about no throw-away people was beautiful, Diane!
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Apr 08, 2013 @ 14:26:51
I tried to comment yesterday and something was happening in the atmosphere and wordpress didn’t want me to ‘talk.’ I am so impressed with your analysis of Cobain’s lyrics and what I always thought of as his musical genius, even if I didn’t like the genre. I respected him for what I always thought of, in my own fractured way, of just wanting to be me, and heaven help us– that was Mary Tyler Moore. But then again, isn’t there a conflicted personality there as well? Corbin’s lyrics are masterful and thanks for reminding us of that. It’s unfortunate that he never found a way to work through his own demons and find how own self.
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Apr 08, 2013 @ 15:00:46
It is really sad to lose such deep thinkers who have so much to offer -even if it’s not in the ‘traditional’ sense we label as wisdom.
Thanks for persevering through WordPress’ issues and taking the time to comment, Sheri.
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Apr 08, 2013 @ 04:08:54
Apr 08, 2013 @ 03:19:35
Great post! I enjoyed reading your perspective, and his quotes were interesting too!
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Apr 08, 2013 @ 04:31:22
Thanks, Jules!
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Apr 08, 2013 @ 01:45:25
Great post, Denise. Kurt was deeply depressed, and depression forces you to look at things so much more closely. It forces you into seeing the truth. I think the discrepancy lies in his not wanting to be in this human form any more. To be someone else is to be something else entirely. Not this body. That’s my take on it anyway. Hope you are well Denise!
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Apr 08, 2013 @ 04:34:06
Hi Yaz -I agree, depression forces a person into looking at life from a very different perspective. Seeing the truth, then having to decide whether to face it or run from it.
Your thoughts on his wanting to be someone else is very possible, I think.
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 21:33:58
I’ve never been a Cobain fan but I loved the quotes you put up here, Denise.
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 22:08:32
Thanks for stopping by, Dianne.
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 19:51:30
I marked I “liked,” but it’s a like in a sad way.
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 09:31:44
I’m sorry he, and so many other musicians, died so young. Although, many others have lived into their 60’s or 70’s , I never hear about what they’ve learned over the years. Or maybe they came to terms with their demons and have no desire to talk about their private battle. Great post, Denise.
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 11:41:11
That’s an interesting perspective, Gerri! I like it!
Thanks for stopping by!
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 08:00:44
I, too, wonder about so many people – those I knew and those I knew of, who decided life was not worth it. Reminded of Whitney, Janis, Marilyn…
Never a fan of Nirvana or Cobain, though I am touched by this post and by the quotes you shared.
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 11:37:48
Good point about so many others who died so young…and they all seem to have difficult things in common.
Glad you enjoyed the post, Karen.
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 05:16:46
What a provocative question: would he have wanted to be different? What do you think Denise?
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 11:36:19
I truly don’t have any idea, but the question captivates me.
What do you think, Susanna?
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 13:51:50
Asked you first, haha!
My theory is everyone wants to be happy but sometimes change, even for the positive, can be scary. That’s my non-answer.
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 14:07:11
😉
I think you are on to something!
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Apr 07, 2013 @ 15:05:29
Or I’m totally clueless, more likely 🙂
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 19:50:01
I read his bio…..what a talent. What a crappy family life he had as a child. I am a big admirer. Great post~
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 21:26:06
Thanks, Cindy. He was a complex person, wasn’t he?
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 19:46:42
Thank you Denise
I loved your take on this
Our modern day prophets
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 21:26:42
Thanks, Sheri, I love how you put that!
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 19:35:03
Wow, what an incredible complex brilliant deep troubled soul, shades of all of us, his more exaggerated. Love the quotes, Love the whole post which to my eyes is brilliantly written. Big hug to you kiddo. Ride on!! 🙂 Paulette
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 21:25:22
Thanks, Paulette!
😉
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 18:27:48
I always liked his music and I love the quotes you shared. I didn’t know he was so deep!
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 18:30:27
From what I’ve read about him, I think he was very reflective and deep.
Thanks for stopping by! 😉
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 18:54:07
hubs is gone and I can devote more time to bloggy friends!
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 18:56:23
I was wondering if he was still out on a long trip. Well, his loss is definitely the blogging community’s gain!
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Apr 06, 2013 @ 19:02:57
Oh, you are sweet! He left Thursday but he had only been home for 3 weeks. It was a bit soon, but…oh well. Nothing I can do about it, so I just stay busy.
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