Today I’m very pleased to introduce you to someone I admire very much.
Linda and I have known each other for several years, and I’ve always respected her strength, character, and perseverence. She took personal growth and recovery to the ultimate level and went on to become a licensed therapist and life coach.
Please give Linda a warm welcome as you enjoy some ‘nuggets’ of wisdom she has to share.
Tell us a little about yourself:
I’m Linda, a grateful believer in Jesus, mom, friend, daughter, sister, and fellow struggler.
What prompted you to become a therapist?
I started on my own journey of healing 19 years ago when I realized my life really wasn’t going well – at all. God lead me to a class called Learn to Live, Learn to Love. It became clear that I, indeed, had a part in my abusive marriage. My continued healing from codependency has allowed me to come alongside other strugglers and I decided to take my 12th step to the next level and become a licensed therapist.
What are the most common barriers you see that prevent people from facing problems?
We all have our defenses that keep us stuck. Blaming, justifying, rationalizing, minimizing, denial and the list goes on. When we own something, we usually start to take care of it. And, unfortunately some people need A LOT of pain before they start to change. There is a saying in recovery circles that says “a person doesn’t change until the PAIN is greater than the FEAR OF CHANGE”.
Do you have suggestions or practical tips for people to use at home:
For all these issues – please get some help and guidance from a good therapist or get in a group such as a 12-step or a class. We are wounded in relationship and need to be healed in relationship. Connection with others is CRITICAL.
1. Anger management – BREATHE and get help figuring out what is underneath the anger.
2. Depression – get exercise, don’t isolate, and see a therapist.
3. Parenting Challenges – Get educated and get help. Parenting is a dauntingly important responsibility. There are great resources out there!! If your kids are acting out – look at yourself first!!
4. Relationship Struggles – Every good relationship takes hard work! We have to make time for great friendships, our relationships with our children and parents takes extra effort at every age. And marriage…well marriage can be a crucible to bring about healing and growth for both partners. All these relationships take work! Work comes in different forms such as:
- Therapy to assist in healing from broken to restored so that you come to relationship with a whole and healthy self
- Coaching to help you meet goals for the relationship
- A class to learn more about the how to’s such as Parenting with Love and Logic or Oxygen for Relationships or many of the other great classes out there
- Attend a workshop to increase your understanding and practice new skills. Two of my favorites are my workshops on limit setting, and fierce conversations (see my webpage www.lindajreed.com for more info).
- Get honest feedback from safe people in your life, humbling yourself being open, honest, and teachable
In other words – DO SOMETHING – to grow and change…remembering… the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results!get more info and stay committed to each other and a process – a class, workshop, counseling etc.
How has being a therapist impacted you and your daily life?
I am accountable to stay on my own healing journey. Today my relationships are more healthy and honest. I can say what I think and feel. I can say “No” without feeling guilty or responsible for how other people feel or respond. I am able to do this with kindness and remain connected instead of getting angry, anxious, pulling away from people, or just putting on a fake mask saying “everything is great!”. I am much more relaxed and have a deeper relationship with God, I am learning to trust Him as I let go of being the one “in control” of everything!
What are the greatest rewards you have from helping others through their struggles?
It is pure joy when the light bulbs go on and the “ah ha” moments occur. Self-awareness is our biggest resource and when someone has an “ah ha” they can then choose to do something about it and life starts changing. Very exciting.
Do you have some parting words you’d like to share?
Life is a journey, we are all broken…and God wants to restore us – get started on the journey because there is JOY in the morning! (Psalm 30:5)
Linda J. Reed MA, LMHC, C.Ad, CPC 22525 SE 64th Pl Issaquah, WA 98027 http://www.lindajreed.com 425-681-9471Linda Reed is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, as well as a Certified Professional Coach. She has a Master’s Degree from Bastyr University, is a graduate of The American College of Addictionology, and Grow Training Institute Inc.
Her education, 19 years of experience, and own healing journey give Linda empathy, compassion and insight with her clients. She is well known for her energy and professionalism.
She has hands on 12-step experience with codependency issues, leads life skills and communication classes and workshops, and is an expert in coaching difficult conversations. Her passion includes teaching and presenting topics (including communication skills, boundaries, conflict resolution, and self-awareness) at area businesses and groups.
Linda specializes in working with individuals and families helping to facilitate healing from a variety of issues.
Jan 29, 2013 @ 14:22:19
Wonderful interview, Denise. Thank you so much for introducing us to your friend. I loved her tips because anyone can follow through on her advice. Sometimes people think they have to move mountains to get out of a terrible situation, and it isn’t the case when we look at our situations practically.
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Jan 29, 2013 @ 16:55:57
That’s such a good point! Just getting started can be the hardest part sometimes!
Glad you enjoyed ‘meeting’ Linda! 😉
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Jan 30, 2013 @ 00:02:29
Yes – follow through and doing something to change the situation is important – Especially changing how we THINK about things!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 23:04:12
Definitely words of wisdom worth repeating over and over.
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Jan 29, 2013 @ 05:28:12
Hi Sheri!
I agree!
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Jan 30, 2013 @ 00:03:34
Thanks Sheri!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 17:42:36
Linda is indeed a very wise woman and her words are inspirational. I’m really glad you posted this because it gave me a lot to think about.
I love the ‘definition of insanity’ – so true! 😉
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 18:41:17
Thanks, Dianne! She is very inspirational!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 23:07:49
Hi Dianne, thanks! I sure have been “insane” lots in my life! I now try to catch it and do SOMETHING different :).
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Jan 30, 2013 @ 13:47:58
Me too, Linda! 😀
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 16:19:50
I come from a few unhappy marriages, and I took some responsibility. I made a bad choice – thrice. After years of unhappiness and bad vibes, I said, I deserve better! Being unhappy day after day after lonely day is depressing. I was at fault for some of that.
Honestly, I wish more parents would get some solid, positive advice. Lack of discipline is a big problem – I see it in the maill, the grocery store, the drug store…parenting is the biggest responsibility there is and yet people have kids and then ignore them (or worse) for 18 years.
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 17:08:20
Thanks for your perspective, Karen. It’s hard taking responsibility, but WoW the rewards are so worth it!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 23:10:33
Hi Karen – yes – there is so much great material out on parenting – I really like Boundaries with Kids by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.
God bless you on your relationship choices as you go forward!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 12:01:02
I love the practical tips! It’s great that Linda was able to transform her pain into something positive and help others who are going through their own struggles.Thank you for sharing this, Denise…I can see why you admire her.
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 12:29:24
Thanks, Lizabethf! Yes, she is a wonderful role model! 😉 Thanks for your comments!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 23:11:58
Thanks for your kind words! I am feeling so filled up 🙂
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 12:00:06
Thanks Denise for trusting me and for your kind words – I feel happy and very honored to be a part of your blog!! The Lord bless you and keep you! Linda
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 12:28:48
Thanks, Linda!
You’re awesome!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 10:16:54
Linda, a friend of mine finally got the “in control of everything” issue through my head a little differently. I definitely didn’t consider myself a control freak but I did take responsibility for everything that went wrong. Every time I would do that, she’d remind me (forcibly at times) that I was NOT the center of the universe! That may have come from her years in a 12-step program, but wherever it came from, it finally got through to me. What a relief!!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 12:27:30
It’s not easy hearing that message!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 23:29:12
Hi Esther, I have a friend that calls it turning in her Junior God Badge! Good for you!
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 07:47:06
Great post, Denise. Linda is a very wise woman. One can only deliver such wisdom from the deepest experience. Please pass on my thanks for her words and for her caring about others.
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 07:56:14
Thank you, Yaz… She will be so happy for your comments.
You have a similar heart to Linda, so it’s not surprising you connected with her wisdom.
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Jan 28, 2013 @ 23:30:23
Thanks so much Yaz! Blessings to you.
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