Recovering from my childhood abuse has taken much of my time and energy over the last few years. My soul was in a fog at times as I learned how to set (and respect) boundaries, recognize my anger and its consequences and allow myself to place my emotions where they belong. All this was part of my determined effort to become a better person, wife and mom.
With God’s grace, my journey of recovery has changed me. I am truly a different person. The drawback, however, is my physical health took a back seat to my emotional health. It’s common for trauma victims to struggle with various pain related and auto-immune conditions and I am no exception. Fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism and chronic pain have shadowed me for some time now. The thyroid was a straight forward issue. The fibromyalgia and chronic pain, however, nagged at me until I finally had to address them as well.
I’ve been working with a naturopath on these issues, and she suggested I try an IV infusion treatment to specifically address the fibromyalgia. I have a venous needle phobia (give me a shot, but no IVs or blood draws, thank you very much) and begged off for several months. Then I finally realized I was once again giving in to misplaced fears, so I agreed to try it. After a few months of this I can say the treatment has been immensely helpful. My pain is down, my energy is up and I’ve even gone hiking three weekends in a row!
Last weekend my husband and I hiked at Crystal Mountain Ski Resort, southeast of Seattle. We’d hoped for a clear view of Mt. Rainier’s splendor, but alas, heavy fog rolled in and we were denied this vista. The fog forced us to notice what was right under our noses instead of just being absorbed with the bigger, better, more Majestic Mountain. We discovered an intricate miniature highway, traveled by thousands of ants leading us to an enormous anthill. There were 6 elk grazing along the way, a waterfall hidden in the dense forest, deer tracks aplenty, berry bush leaves burning red and the occasional fireweed blossom.
Eventually we turned to hike back down the mountain, sorry to have missed Mt. Rainier, but were also happy to have seen other splendors of nature. When we were almost all the way down, the fog cleared and we saw hawks soaring above us and beautiful meadows below. I think the dissipating fog gave us a greater appreciation for the spectacular view.
It reminds me of the saying that once your life has changed, you see everything differently. Everything is exactly the same, yet it’s completely different. Kind of like coming out of the fog.
How about you? Have you ever come out of a fog and seen things differently?
Nov 10, 2012 @ 16:54:35
You have a wonderful blog! Great pictures on this post and sounds like a great day as well! You deserve it many more! Cheers.
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Nov 10, 2012 @ 17:41:20
Thanks so much, Cindy!
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Oct 10, 2012 @ 03:40:52
Great analogy with the fog – how it gives us a different view of our life. So glad your health is improving. May you continue to rise up strong, beautiful woman!
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Oct 10, 2012 @ 07:00:10
It really does change our perspectives, doesn’t it? Thanks so much for sharing!
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Oct 09, 2012 @ 15:04:12
You eloquently expressed my feelings also. I am so sorry about your health. Bless you 🙂
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Oct 09, 2012 @ 15:39:23
Thanks! So great to hear from you! 😉
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Oct 06, 2012 @ 05:34:22
I admire your courage and am so glad the fog has lifted. I am a therapist and treat many trauma survivors. Trauma does effect mind, body, and spirit. But with a lot of hard work, the fog lifts. Everything is different, but nothing has changed at all- except within you.
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Oct 06, 2012 @ 05:54:37
That’s exactly it in a nutshell!
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, Kristin.
I popped over and peeked at a few of your posts, too. I especially liked the one on forgiveness.
Thanks again!
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Oct 06, 2012 @ 05:25:48
Denise, Please feel the love of the Liebster Award ~ from me to you!
http://misifusa.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/thanks-for-the-liebster/
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Oct 06, 2012 @ 05:27:05
Thank you so much! You are sweet!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 23:26:53
You are a tuly inspiring person, Denise. A very close family member of mine has been living in this fog for years and has only recently made their way through it. It must be a wonderful and liberating feeling 🙂
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Oct 05, 2012 @ 05:21:10
You are always so sweet, Dianne. I am very happy for your friend’s recent emergence from the fog. It is indeed very liberating.
(PS Congrats again on your YWO award!)
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 20:46:25
Denise, your blog posts always inspire and encourage me to dig deeper in my life. I love that you write your story. It’s so beautiful. Yes, I can relate to the fog lifting. I’m experiencing it right now with my mom. I’m 42 and I’m seeing my mom for the first time. Sadly it’s taken her getting brain cancer to lift the fog…I’m greatly humbled by what I’ve missed. But I’m committed to soak up all I can now and I’m thankful for the new perspective. I always get excited when I see a new post fom you in my reader.
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 21:04:29
Thank you for being such a great encouragement to me. I am amazed that during your difficult time with your mom’s health issues you have taken the time to read and comment here.
I was mesmerized by your post today, too. You have such deep insight and I am always challenged by what you write. You and your family have been on my mind off and on all day. I pray for peace for you all for whatever happens.
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 16:36:23
This makes me think of the quote (I do not know the author to reference ):
“The barn’s burnt down- now I can see the moon”
I love reading your posts!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 18:40:42
I’ve never heard that quote before, but I like it!
Thanks so much for sharing it and for your kind words!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 20:47:46
Ah! Love this quote Amy. I’ve never heard it before but I can just see it on t-shirts and posters.
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 14:50:49
I love the analogy and the connections you made here. I didn’t know that chronic pain was a common problem among trauma victims. How brave of you to try the treatment, and I’m so glad it’s helping. 🙂
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 18:41:14
Thanks, me too!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 13:34:12
So true. How beautiful it is up there!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 13:41:46
Yes, it is beautiful. That was my first time there, can’t wait to go back!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 08:43:52
Coming out of the fog of dilusion, has been difficult for me. I am supprised by how much of it colored my thoughts and actions. I am learning new ways to look at situations, not to take other people’s reactions at their face value. If I step back I can see, where they are coming from: sometimes fear, anger or the feeling of not being good enough. I am learning I am an equal, and to treat others as equals. My size is proptionate to how we really are. a few months ago I often envisioned myself as a small child and the others as giants. Especially if I was afraid of them. I can hold my head up high, I have less regrets and I behave more like the person I want to be. Someone I can be proud of, not ashamed of.
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 08:48:16
Thanks for sharing your story, Lynn. What a wonderful journey you have been on; your progress is amazing and I am proud of you!
Here’s to the real you, the person you want to be, the friend I know and love!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 08:12:37
Lovely photos and lovely post. I really like fog, as long as I’m not driving in it.
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 08:43:46
Yes, driving in it is scary 😉
Thanks for visiting!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 06:34:12
The fog clearing…what a great analogy! Great pictures, Denise. Hiking can be such fun, and the exercise helps make us stronger, physically and emotionally.
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 07:14:40
Thanks Karen! So true!!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 05:16:14
Yes, breast cancer made me see everything differently…and like you, I am coming out of the fog. So happy for you!
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Oct 04, 2012 @ 05:40:22
That must have been very draining, physically and emotionally. Thank you for sharing!
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