Fall is definitely my favorite season. The beautiful colors combined with warm days and cool nights always make me happy!
A Time of Reflection…
It’s also back-to-school time, which always feels like a season of reflection….thinking about milestones. My kids are grown and gone, but I was thinking recently of my daughter’s first day of kindergarten. Like so many first-time moms, I stood at the bus stop, my heart torn in two. I was so proud of my little girl -so smart and so capable. Yet, I wasn’t ready to let her go off into the big world without me. Of course I did my best to be brave while she boarded the bus. But, as soon as it pulled away and I walked home with her little brother and the dog, I couldn’t quite fight off the tears.
Fast forward to her last day of fifth grade. I picked up the kids from school that afternoon and it hit me that she was soon headed for middle school. Her teacher must have recognized the look on my face because she came over, patted my arm and said “She’s really growing up, isn’t she?” Then those pesky tears showed up again.
Middle school, I’ve decided, is a unique world all its own. This was a blur with both of the kids, but of course it ultimately led to high school. Incredible, I know, but this nearly came as a shock. How did my kids get this old so fast? Everyone told me it would happen, but life went by at such dizzying pace I think I lost track. High school?!? Driving, dating, jobs, college visits. Oh my, it made my head spin.
Will I ever be ready…
Dropping her off at a college an 18-hour drive away nearly did me in. Her dad and I made it out to the main highway before we both started crying; wondering aloud where the time went. For better or worse, we’d done our job and she was on her own. We knew we had to let go, but we weren’t ready.
Now, we are fast approaching her wedding day. Her wedding day!! She’s been engaged a year, so it’s not like this is a surprise. But, lately my husband or I will say to each other “How can it be?” Two weddings in two summers and just like that both our kids will be married. We’ve been working on a slide show for the reception and there’s been so much reminiscing. The first day home from the hospital, becoming a big sister, fishing trips, camping adventures, prom nights and the engagement pictures.
We are eager for the big day, and so proud of her and our future son-in-law. Yet, there is the tug of my heartstrings as we approach this beautiful milestone. My daughter, my beautiful sweet baby, all grown up. I have to let go once again, but it’s still hard and makes me teary.
How about you? What have been your milestones of letting go?
Jan 08, 2013 @ 22:04:03
….and before you know it, your granddaughter is having a baby. I will be a great-grandmother soon, and I still feel like a girl inside!
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Jan 09, 2013 @ 05:26:01
So true!!
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Sep 04, 2012 @ 16:53:12
Not so much a letting go, but a holy crap. The first time I saw my baby packing both a side arm and an automatic weapon (Air Force). After I dropped off his dinner bag, I drove home and cried.
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Sep 04, 2012 @ 18:48:40
Aaahhh! That would be jolting!
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Sep 02, 2012 @ 02:12:41
And the next step is . . . Grandma!
I have five sons. The first turned 50 last year and the second one turns 50 this month. Where did THAT time go?
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Sep 02, 2012 @ 08:14:06
I imagine a step into Grandma would be fantastic!
Oh the stories you must have with 5 sons! 😉
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Aug 26, 2012 @ 07:43:35
What a fantastic surprise about Mike making dinner! Those moments of them growing up are shocking sometimes!
You have worked so hard in your own recovery. The way God seems to work, it will be when you least expect it, he’ll put someone in your life that’s just right. I look forward to that with you!!
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Aug 25, 2012 @ 07:56:01
This too has been a time for reflection. My son, the baby is a Senior this year. My son is growing up, he was suppose to make dinner Wednesday night and forgot so we all planned he would make dinner last night. About 4:30 I received a text from my son… I won’t be home for dinner. So I called him when I got of off work. Thinking I would have to ask if he had made dinner, I figured we would not be eating until 7ish. Before I could say anything he said I will leave dinner by the stove. Wow, he did not even have the time to enjoy what he made…he had a friends birthday party to attend. When I arrived home he had started the dish washer too. Wow, it was a great feeling. He is growing up.
My 47th birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. I have had a lot of confilcting emotions of late. I have been single for 12 years and dated off and on. Over the past few years I have deceided I would like to get married some day. I have been focusing on my own recovery, hoping to attract a healthier person in the future. People look at me funny when I say,”I am not emotionally stable enough to handle a long term relationship, at this point.” I am confident God has a man in mind for me. I am confident if I continue on my journey of self discovery I will meet someone who will walk along with me on the shared but sepperate paths we will travel.
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Aug 25, 2012 @ 06:31:05
What a poignant post. Life is full of times of letting go. Thank goodness there are also times of embracing the new. As I read your post and pondered my own children’s growing up and growing away years I thought of that one moment when I had the opportunity to embrace the new. The birth of my first grandchild. Nothing can top that moment.
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Aug 26, 2012 @ 07:40:00
That’s a good reminder…that it’s about embracing the new. I just want both apparently! 🙂 Congratulations on grandbabies! That must be an amazing experience!
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