Mother’s Day was different this year.  I am now a Mother-In-Law, too.  I became a MIL last August, and it sort of snuck up on me.  David had been dating Kayla for nearly 3 years and engaged for seven months before they got married.  However, I hadn’t really connected the dots about becoming a MIL. The week of the wedding, I kept feeling like I was going to lose my son.  I was thrilled to be gaining another daughter, but what about my son?

I will admit I became a basket case during the mother/son dance.  Despite what I said about gaining a daughter; I continued to feel the pang of fear at losing my son.  I looked at his left hand,  stared at his ring and started to cry.  I would never again be his main girl.  Taking a back seat to Kayla left me wondering what my role was.  Was I even important anymore?  Could he love us both?  Was it fair to expect him to?  I have never felt two opposing emotions simultaneously as I did that day.  Ecstatic, yet mournful.

Since that day, however, God has shown me his wisdom once again.  I was reminded of Genesis 2:24 where it says “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh.”  God’s plan for us to let our children go is perfect.  We might not carry it out perfectly, but we must trust Him.  My role has evolved, David still loves me and my love for them has multiplied.  I am truly at peace knowing it is as it should be.

This was in stark contrast to how I left home and got married.  I graduated high school at 16 and couldn’t get away fast enough.  Various forms of abuse motivated me to do what I could to escape.  I never experienced having a mother support or encourage me.  I got married at 20 in a courthouse; loathe to have a traditional wedding.  The thought of my father ‘giving me away’ nauseated me.  In retrospect, I can also see that I didn’t feel worthy of such an extravagance, either.

In September I’ll become a MIL again when I gain another son.  Although it won’t have the novelty it did last summer, I don’t think it will have the fear with it either.  I am anticipating the swell of pride my heart will feel at the wedding.  I’m sure I’ll cry, but am confident tears will be of joy and not anticipated loss.  My fear of losing Michelle has been eliminated by the realization that I didn’t lose David.  And, I am delighted at the thought of having Chad as my son.

My kids, all four of them, continually teach me how to be a better mom.  They are resilient and (mostly) tolerant as I learn what was never modeled for me.  To freely let them go in love.

How about you?  What fears have you faced recently?  I’d love to hear your story.

Advertisements